Apologizing When Necessary

25 Oct 2015

Months ago I made a mistake at work. It wasn’t an error of execution, a missed email, or anything related to work. I behaved in a way that was inconsistent with the person I want to be. I felt I had betrayed the trust of someone I respected and I was ashamed. In this moment, and for a while after, I was inclined to simply let the matter pass. To pretend that what was significant to me wasn’t noticed and needed no explanation.

But stronger than that inclination was a desire to own my mistake. To own it and resolve not to repeat it. I went to the person that I felt I might have insulted with my behavior and made a sincere apology. I called to their attention my bad behavior, I apologized to them for the situation in may have put them in, I asked their forgiveness of my judgement, and I stated how I would do my best not to repeat the mistake.

I would say those are the parts necessary for an apology that works. Calling attention to the error, apologizing for the position that has put the other person in, asking forgiveness, and stating a resolution to do better in the future. An apology like this can be freeing and will reveal the character of those around you.

So, if there’s something you feel badly about. Apologize. You’ll feel better.