Your left hand hates you

11 Jan 2015

To my dismay, I’ve noticed that my left hand hates me. It doesn’t seem to be a personal vendetta, but my left hand is recalcitrant, clumsy, and generally uncooperative. I’ve tried finding the source of its discontent and have come up with nothing. It could be the years that it has spent merely holding the paper while my right hand had the glorious task of writing, drawing, or doodling. It could be that it always wanted to throw a baseball instead of merely catch one (I honestly gave it a chance… but it can’t throw for the life of it). Or maybe my right hand has just been talking shit and my left hand is done.

Whatever the case, I have to work doubly hard to convince it to do things. And maybe that’s the point. Maybe it just needed a little extra love and a little more patience.

But, and I’ve seen it in my own renegade appendage, with practice, even a left hand can become useful. It takes some suckage, and sometime it helps to sleep on it to let skills filter through its obstinate nature, but it can become useful. I mean… I’m using both hands to type right now, so here we are.

I’m sure there’s a metaphor in here somewhere for something more substantial. It could be about dealing with people, or learning something new, or being patient when learning, but I’m gonna leave those as an exercise for the user.

Just know, when your left hand sucks at something, it’s nothing personal. It just hates you.

PS. If you’re a lefty you know what hand I’m talking about.

PPS. If you’re ambidextrous, I’m jealous.